The pleasures of sin

The pleasures of sin….

This morning has been a very interesting one so far.  During the evening while he should have been sleeping, Simon decided to indulge in the pleasure of applying scissors to his hair.
He seems to have dropped off to sleep and forgotten all about it until this morning when one of his brothers noticed it.
Some of the points which come to mind are that we can get carried away in the pleasure of the moment without giving due regard to the future.   That there are some things which can’t be undone – even though we may wish eagerly that they would be.  That Jesus, as it were, wore the consequences of our secret misdeeds and that, through Him, God, our loving, kind Heavenly Father, is willing to freely forgive us.  That those whose way of life involves secretly indulging in naughtiness of one sort or another, whether or not the consequences become apparent to anyone in this life, will have their misdeeds made public (now won’t THAT be embarrassing?!). (luke 8v17).
Now of course cutting ones hair is not a sin (the Apostle Paul cut his own hair, as one of the other children pointed out) and there are very many things that any of us can indulge in which ARE called sin by the Almighty.  Maybe those of his siblings who gloated over Simon and called him names actually incurred greater disapproval from their Heavenly Father than they suspect.   However, we would all be a good deal poorer if we failed to learn the lessons which come our way and I trust that Simon, at least, is the wiser for the activities of last evening.

It is easy to be remorseful merely because of the consequences of our actions and that does us no eternal good.   But if it is used as a stepping stone to a consideration of sin as God sees it, then repentance will  do its work and peace will be restored.

Simon took comfort in the knowledge that his hair would grow again.  I pointed out to him that both the short bits and the long bits would grow…  Needless to say it was necessary to cut his hair.  I thought that he had suffered enough in the first 2 hours of today so I cut his hair all to one length – I daresay he will feel the cold somewhat and the Christmas photos, when he looks back, should be sufficient to prompt him to gain wisdom from the events of last evening.

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
We've had the first of our annual viewings of 'It's a wonderful Life' this week (this and 'the Bishop's Wife' are essential to the season in our home!). I just love It's a Wonderful Life - I remember my impressions of it as a little girl, it has been one of the major shaping influences in my life. The message of 'you may never get your dreams fulfilled but living in obscurity, plodding away at the ordinary, is more important than you could ever imagine' is a concept I have thought of countless times over the years. And of course, the vital message about eternity is never alluded to in the film, though I am sure that it is assumed underneath because of the prevailing Christian worldview of the culture it was first presented to.

Be Still My Soul

Be still my soul

Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to they god to order and provide
In every change he faithful will remain
Be still my soul, thy best thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still my soul, when dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears
Then shalt thou better know his Love, his heart
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears
Be still my soul, the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still my soul the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored
Be still my soul, when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

This morning I listened to this hymn (several times over!) and took tremendous comfort from the knowledge that as I bear my cross of grief (I sometimes get almost overwhelmed by the thought that my little girl will face so many difficulties in life – and will never grow up to be a mummy…) THE LORD IS ON MY SIDE.  Wonderful it is that we can leave to God to ‘order and provide’  where we cannot see a way ahead.

Thoughts come and go – some of them are very profound and OUGHT to be shared – but they fall out of my brain before I get to the computer. Maybe I should have a computer on the end of Victoria’s cot then, if I had enough hands, I could write while I was using the pump, or holding Victoria’s bottle in place….
Last evening I was listening to some messages by Steve Demme of Math-u-see. I downloaded them from his website. I listened on my MP3 player (how very thankful I am to the Lord for providing me with this amazing vehicle of encouragement, instruction and exhortation) while either getting milk for Victoria or feeding it to her. The message on his experiences with Johnny, his now 18-y-old son who has d.s., reflected an attitude of joyful resignation to the genuine struggles of raising a child with health and developmental problems. This set against his natural optimism and dedication to his family makes great listening. If you want to , you can download this and two other messages from the mathusee website.
He mentions a subject which has been close to my heart recently – fighting amongst boys. When they were all small (that it to say, when all the children I had were under 4 and half feet tall….) it was easy to say ‘no fighting’. There was one incident where one boy goaded another boy and there was a fairly fierce bundle where I couldn’t’ see it – but I never heard of any other incidents. Now most of the boys are over 4 and a half feet and they are determined to fight. My concern is that some of them get VERY angry and one has been found to be waving a knife at another (isn’t this SHOCKING!!! – I was and am horrified). I have no confidence that a similar incident might not occur again. Now, I listen to Steve Demme talking about how he and his sons have rubber-band wars and shoot PAINTBALLS at one another and I feed that into the ‘processor’ and conclude something which is essentially different between the Demme family and ours. The default position is that the Demme family LOVE one another and spend more time expressing that love in practical ways and against that background they do their fighting. This, I think, would make fighting acceptable.
Until my lot learn to love one another, they are not safe to fight one another. Steve mentioned that he used to wrestle with his boys (I guess he gave it up as they got too big for him to beat!). My dad (not a Christian) used to romp with my two brothers and myself on a Sunday afternoon sometimes. Of course, being a girl, I usually got injured early on and was sitting on the settee watching for most of the time.
I ask ‘how can a family who are supposed to be Christians routinely show an attitude of criticsism, and unkindness to one another?’. It is a rhetorical question, I know the answer but beyond praying I am (I THINK) powerless to effect a change. Perhaps I can limit the damage…
That’ll do for this message – I will not digress to another thought now but will save it for next time…

On the subject of wastefulness.... I was thinking of how we don't praise our children too much - in case it goes to their head. We can't feel kindly towards a visitor if he/she leaves food on the plate - or eats 'too much'. The term 'too much' is very subjective and defined (unspecifically) by the one who uses it. Could we drive 'too far' to spend time with beloved friends?. Can it be 'too expensive' for a loved one to be transported home 'too often'? Can an evening of fellowship go on 'too long'? Can we have 'too many' children?....
These are, obviously, random ideas but they are all ways in which our thoughts about what is right, or appropriate, are not tempered by the generous nature of the Almighty and if we knew Him better, we would be more like Him in the ways we dealt with one another.

thoughts....
My thoughts have not been absent - just a little disorientated. Apart from Victoria (news at victorialily.blogspot.com ) thoughts have been related to the Omnibus (see Veritas Press) and related seminars from the Veritas conference. I am especially thinking about how spelling (and indeed maths) done out loud (rather than on paper) might be more effectively learnt. At least I can do this in an ad-hoc way even when I have my hands full with Victoria.

Wastefulness versus generosity.

Mr Clenham, in Dickens' Little Dorrit, says "I was the child of parents who weighed, measured and counted everything" . I think his parents were typical of the Victorian culture.

On a tape I heard recently that too much of what we pass off as 'Biblical' is little more than merely Victorian. I guess I ought to do a wordsearch on the matter of wastefulness but with my limited knowledge of the Bible I have a feeling that I won't find too many examples of wastefulness being defined as sin.

Considering creation around us there are limitless examples of God's frivolous extravagance. EG. lemmings, pollen, acorns, snowflakes. sperm, newly-hatched crocodiles to name but a few. I suppose that everyone can instantly see in what ways these examples demonstrate 'wastefulness' as defined by our Victorian forbears.

Does that mean I am advocating scary generosity? Well, yes, actually, I am. God demonstrates tremendous generosity towards us (and think of all that GOLD in the temple - and it even was all lost track of, not 'loooked after' or stored away, ultimately). God wastes His kindness on the reprobates and on the righteous (who very often are too stingy-of-mind to recognise it.).

Being a tightwad by birth, training and culture, I am greatly afraid that all these years I have been training my own children up in Victorianism more than in the Bible - not just in this one area. It is somewhat depressing to consider how long one has been walking in the Way and how little progress one has made in the REALLY important areas (not the merely cerebral).

I am even more afraid that if I change now I shall look like I am criticising others who are still Victorian in their mindset - however, it is not too late for my children, they are still young enough to learn and practice the bounteous, gracious generosity demonstrated by the Almighty, boundlessly forgiving, Saviour.

My contemplations on Hebrews (with the aid of John Owen - abridged) brought be to the conclusion that thankfulness is a greatly undervalued virtue. It was for this reason that the thousands fell in the wilderness.
Now yesterday i was listening to another of those MP3's (how very thankful I am for my lovely MP3 player - long may it continue to work!!) this time by James Jordan. This was not the first - in the earlier messages I heard I noted that he says some very wacky things (then again, I used to think that home-schooling was very wacky and gradually came to a different opinion....). Last night's message though was potentially revolutionary. I am not guaranteeing that I remembered it all in the right ORDER but the thoughts included:
a) Jesus 1. took bread 2. gave thanks 3. distributed it 4. it was evaluated - this is a pattern which God is pleased with because we see it in Creation
b) God created things - sort of shared them out and evaluated it (it was good).
c) if we make a cake or a loaf of bread we take some stuff out from the rest of the stuff and combine it with other stuff - we ought to be full of thankfulness that we HAVE these things to bless our families with - when we have the finished product we distribute it to our family and HOPE for a favourable evaluation.....

If we continue to live our lives in thankfulness we will not complain, also it would often prove to be a deterant to sin. Jordan's point that one important thing missing in the story of the fall was thanksgiving - imagine A & E stopping, fruit in hand and saying 'we thank you Lord for supplying us with this good fruit....' (or some such) - it just wouldn't have happened would it. These people didn't have minds darkened by sin and they didn't have bad memories - Adam had heard straight from the mouth of God the prohibition on eating from this particular tree.
When we listened to the recording of Paradise Lost I was obliged to go back to the Bible and see whether, as Milton suggests, Eve had got a bit fed up of being with Adam and went off for a day of solitary gardening RESULTING in her not having his protection and advice against sinning. I saw that hte Bible said 'she gave the fruit to her husband who was with her' . This is the position Jordan takes - that is to say, Adam stood by while Eve was decieved - maybe doing the first 'human experiment'. I guess women were always modelled after the same pattern 'ice-cold logic' not generally being the prevailing controlling factor in their actions...... Adam, however, had the necessary information and also other built-in qualities which ought to have made him step forward and intervene. Well, it is interesting to think about although purely theoretical. I think that because of Milton's attitude (though maybe he was just refelcting the prevaling attitude of his age, rather than setting it?) the 'reformed' church has felt quite firmly that WOMEN are the cause of 'all the trouble' - that Adam just had to carry the can because he had the 'misfortune' to be the covenant head..... Too many women in the reformed setting just go along with this as though it were TRUE. Thereby we are less effective as women.

I am made aware (mostly from listening to Jordan!) that the things we understand as we read in the Bible depend very much upon our pre-suppositions. We have to TRY (difficult though it is) to hear / read the Bible plainly, with an understanding of the culture in which it was written. If we start at the beginning and understand all that follows on the basis of what preceded it (rather than begining with the book of John and perhaps chasing up the notes in the margins only....) if we are to truly make progress in understanding and wisdom.
One example regarding culture is (and we know this is the case in Nigeria today where the incidence of twins is VERY high - poss. due to genetic pre-disposition) that TWINS were freaky, an ill omen. Now think about Rebecca. For years she had gone on not having children at the normal time, as she might have been expected to - then along comes big trouble. No ultrasound or sonic aid and only when Rebecca enquired of the Lord did she find out that there were twins in there. Imagine how those around her must have viewed the situation? This was ultra-weird.
Incidentally, reading between the lines, the whole story of Isaac and Rebecca was not exactly a 'happily-ever-after' story - even though it was 'made in heaven'. Think about how both parents knew which twin the Lord was going to favour and Isaac spent most of his life trying to reverse this. Rebecca (maybe because she was more spiritual or submissive to God - or perhaps, rather, because Jacob was her blue-eyed boy) was constantly working against her husband in this most important issue - now you are not going to tell me that this was a household full of peace and harmony, perfectly modelling the relationship between Christ and the Church?!!!!

finally, Jordan pointed out that the Bible was HEARD much more than it was read. Most people, throughout most of the Bible times (and through the world until prob. 200 years ago) could not read. I have observed that children who are not yet able to read have a much better memory. Imagine if this were the case for those who grow into adult-hood still not able to read. Hearing the Bible would be a far more effective way of encountering the Word than we could know, as readers. One criticsism of reading is that it is a solitary activity and therefore hearing is superior (unless, of course, you do it via an MP3 player or walkman plus headphones.....) . Jordan says that you could let words go by before your eyes and not be reading them in any meaningful way - reading aloud would be more effective - but that you cannot be in a room where someone is speaking and not hear them - you can't close your ears. He obviously doesn't know that you can have words go by your ears and not 'hear' them without too much difficulty (some of my children are excellent at this.....).
Well, I hope to continue with more in 'quiet' moments throughout this day. Meanwhile I have a trip to Yately, to collect a canoe for the boys, lined up and the exciting prospect of seeing my bathroom (unchanged for 21 years) being ripped out with a view to a new one being put in. I only hope that Philip does not behave like most builders one hears of - I NEED this bathroom to be back in action in a week or two at the most......

I like purple and therefore I am going to write in purple ....
I bought the 'essential DVD collection' from WordMP3 (around $80) and have begun to discover how MUCH stuff there is on there. I decided to start with the ACCS (association of Classical Christian Schools) annual conferences and found myself today listening to George Grant from 2002 waxing eloquent about books. He offers some excellent advice about books and recommends that we make reading a priority in our lives - serious reading - and that we be prepared to read things which challenge us. When I have finished what I am reading currently I shall have a go at Augustine's 'City of God' which I have had for a long time (two old volumes from the old 'everyman' series picked up in two different 2nd-hand bookshops over 10 years ago....). In any case the think I liked best about what Grant said was that reading humbles us. Those who READ know that when they turn the page they will find out something that they didn't know before. Books take us on a voyage of discovery. Recurring themes in my reading are the Holocaust, health-related books and books to help me understand the Bible.
In between these sorts of books I have enjoyed getting inside a foreign culture (Botswana - via McCalls 'number 1 ladies detective agency). I've finished all those now - anyone got any other 'light-reading' quality titles to recommend?
A lady who visited last week commented that I sounded, in our conversation about home-ed, 'very intelligent'. (I am not overwhelmed - she doesn't know me very well....) I pointed out that my formal education stopped at the age of 16 - that I didn't go to University (my mother strongly disapproved and back in those days you needed to have some parental financial support....) . I always enjoyed learning stuff at school and I constantly thought about and asked questions concerning what I enjoyed learning - trying to fit it all together.
Since beginning home-ed 20 years ago I have read loads of books (I wish I had kept a reading journal - I wonder if there is any point beginning such a venture at this late stage...) and have learnt far more as 'teacher' than I did as a 'pupil'.
One person's idea of paradise (quoted by Grant) is an inexhaustible library full of wonderfully-bound books - sounds good to me. On the BBC adaptation of Trollope's Barchester books (tried to read one once but it was so sugary I couldn't bear it...) the dying Bishop says of his impending death and entrance to heaven 'there's so much I want to FIND OUT'. My sentiments entirely. Those who read tabloid papers could argue that they read them because they want to 'find out' but what they want to do is peer into other people's business which is rightfully none of their own - these sorts of things are not worth the effort. But to find out how much of God is manifested in tiny details of His creation; to discover how His unseen hand has upheld and instructed sorely tried and tested children of His throughout time and to see how He has worked out all things to bring maximum Glory to Himself in all places, through all time - now these things are worth finding out about. I guess when I 'know' all I need to know here on earth I can go home and continue learning....

Ever seen the film 'Life's Story' - it is a small drop in the ocean of 'nature-films' produced in the UK - the quality is impeccable and the message is CREATION. What a refreshing change. Anyway, one thing which struck me was this: there is fish called a 'parrot fish'. It has the ability to change sex and colour - it has an amazing pallette from which to choose - except that it DOESN'T 'choose' because it is, in fact, colour blind. So it doesn't say 'purple is what i shall be today' and then go check out in the mirror that it is just the right shade.
What struck me was this, here we are a Christians, bumbling about through life, hoping to be what we constantly feel ourselves FAILING to be and YET it is JUST possible that what we appear to be (if only we could see straight....) is something so much MORE than we realise. I know, objectively, that I am clothed with the righteousness of Christ. I could look in the mirror all day and that not be apparant to me. Reflecting on my actions / words (and esp.) thoughts of the day there is no evidence to suggest that I have these righteous garments, however, there it is. Here is a thought to make one smile!!!!

It is not that I haven't been thinking since my last post - thinking too much to be able to get it all in a straight line and onto my blog, that's all.
Topics you missed are - what can the covenant family learn from Pilgrims Progress (in connection with the series of sermons- available for free download from Sermonaudio.com - by Pastor Jim Gables which I first listened to with tremendous benefit 25 years ago....). We started on the series and many questions arose with my children regarding the necessity of a quantifiable 'conversion experience'. Enough on that subject for now.
Next Terry Schiavo - we didn't get to hear the whole story on this one from the media. check out Stannespub.com for an interview with a unique Christian man who has not only worked as a top-level surgeon but also retrained as a lawyer who has more detail on this sad, sad story.
Next missed topic was the excellent (although shoddily edited) book by Peter Hammond of Frontline Fellowship (they have a website for more info) on Islam, Slavery and Terrorism. Full of fascinating info. Hope to keep this one fresh in my mind long enough to do a book review....
missed topic number three was the illness which laid many of us low over a period of 4 weeks - thankfully we are all back up to full strength now - and, hey, you didn't really want to hear about that anyway!!
Current topic (before I run out of time or my brain fails me) is following on from a reading of 'A House for My Name' by Peter Leithart. Of course we need to cultivate a partic. Christian perspective on life. I often have been frustrated at trying to understand the happenings of the Bible because my eyes are sadly out of focus due to my many years of humanist-influenced indoctrination. I include, sadly, that which still goes on in the church. If we don't look at the happenings of the OT and NT (unfortunately we don't really have much reference to the OT - specially not as a VITAL foundation for our proper apprehension of the NT) with the right perspective we will always come to the wrong conclusions (unless the Holy Spirit miraculously intervenes). On Saturday I listened to Roger Slack speaking on the relevance of Worldview and Education at a Home Ed. day-conf. near Peterborough and it was pointed out that in Deut 7 the command to the Israelites to wipe out the Canaanites was because (surprisingly - I had never noticed this before) that if they didn't the children of the Israelites would be turned away from following God. An interesting little study yesterday showed me how this affected even the throne of David with Jezebel being a baal-worshipper and drawing her husband into - then of course influencing their children and grandchildren. Roger summarised this in terms of 'what you DO affects what you believe'. Now we all know that this is a reverse of standard evangelical treatment of the connection between belief and practice but when you come to think about it you will see that the O.T. is full of details about how to LIVE a life of following God. All the way from cleansing leprose houses to Yom Kippur sacrifices including many cermonial daily cleansings for various things. DOING meant they had the opportunity to be reminded that God is real and affected how they thought and what they believed. Now, of course, with my study of John Owen on Hebrews (another missed topic....) I am painfully aware that in spite of the correct culture of the Israelites in the wilderness there was one vital thing missing amongst too many - lack of faith - but it is entirely erroneous to deduce that BECAUSE faith was missing that is the ONLY relevant thing and so long as we have that we are OK - that is to say, short of falling into obvious sin we can do what we like because we have FAITH. Think of the book of James. These works cannot (taken in the context of the whole of the Bible) just be isolated incidents and cannot be adequately satisfied by 'going to church' but MUST incorporate how we eat, wash, treat one another (manners) and everything which comes between getting out of bed one day and the next.
My class has now assembled and I have to time the calculadder maths drills....


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I'm going to indulge in a nice colour while I state my sadness that in re-structuring my blog I lost all my lovely comments - I wouldn't like anyone to think it was deliberate - feel free to resume commenting as you feel necessary.
Would anyone know how I can get more colours on my computer - I seem to have a lovely selection available to me on my blogspot.

If any one bothers to come and look at this, welcome back and humble apologies. Now I shall make my excuses (although I didn't realise it was SO long since I last wrote a message)....
My computer was out of order for some time and I was thankful to have it fixed - seems to be something to do with a surfiet of internet security measures - resulting in my having to turn off Zone Alarm sometimes if I am desperate to get online and the computer is desperate to prevent me.
Then there is the fact that the main topics of concern change so rapidly. I had meant to write about 'Till we have faces' but I quickly started on another book and couldnt' do it any more.... What I will say about that book is that this is the first book I can remember which I have consiciously decided to read a second time. It impressed me greatly on first reading (must be 8 years ago now) and a more recently encountered comment by C.S. Lewis about how a person can't say that a book is good unless they have read it two or three times (alright for him, sitting around with little else to do BUT read -and likely being a faster reader than I am...). So, I thought I ought to read it again. It was a disappointment - I wouldn't recommend it as heartily now as I did 8 years ago. Interestingly although I had forgotten the detail of the plot the really meaningful, life-changing bits, were remembered very clearly and for those few bits I remain thankful.
After that book there was Hillaire Belloc - it was either that or GK chesterton. I was appalled at what I read in there. Of course Belloc had a big influence on Chesterton (who had grown up, like myself, in a nominally anglican church, and threw in his lot with the Roman church after falling under the spell of Belloc). The reason I was interested to find out more about Belloc (and Chesterton) was because of GK's subsequent influence on C.S. Lewis. In conversation with a R.C . friend of mine on Wednesday I mentioned this link and she said 'yes, Lewis was a catholic too wasn't he?'. I remained very calm and responded along the lines that I believed he was an Anglican.... Anyway some of the themes which came out strongly in the AN Wilson book on Belloc were :
1: He was an objectionable and spoiled little boy without proper manly influence in his developing years (his sickly father died when HB was very young). An obstinate and belligerent character was encouraged in him by those around who thought, in his precociousness, he was quite amusing. He inflicted people with these same kind of demonstrations of selfishness for many years.
2: He failed to be accepted as Don at Oxford and as a consequence he went about with a 'chip on his shoulder' because he thought he was better than them.
3. Although what most people remember Belloc for is is 'Cautionary Tales' he wrote about 150 books. Most of these books he dictated, rather than setting pen to paper, and he was far from a perfectionist. The content of many of his books is merely a repetion of his opinions expressed in other books. He didn't do 'research' for books he wrote - I guess he felt he knew enough already...
4. He was an 'apologist' for the R.C. church and yet when asked how he could believe that the bread and wine were transformed into the body and blood of Christ he responded ' if the church told me they became elephant, I would believe it'. Later in his life when the topic of Christ came up on conversation he stated that he found Christ repellent!!
5. He was not known for his personal Godliness and despised the concept - I suppose he believed that if he kept on DOING the 'right thing' then he would be OK in the end. When on a tour of France he was attending a Mass (as was his daily custom) and standing at a certain point, the sacristan approached him and quietly pointed out that 'here, we kneel at this point' - to which Belloc snarled 'go to hell' (the sacristan is said to have responded 'I see you are a Catholic'!!!)
I have comforted myself throughout this informative and thought-provoking volume by reading my Bible (a think I didn't ever read of Belloc doing) and am comforted to find those plain straightforward truths that withouth FAITH it is impossible to please the Lord and that righteous living is the fruit of a person who is accepted in Christ.
So what did I go on to next?
Auschwitz. This is a book I bought recently at Costco. The anti-semitic sentiments of Belloc (in pre-holocaust days of course) must be quite shocking to anyone living this side of 1945, however Belloc, at home as much in France as here (he spent a year in the French military) was part of a large number of people who believed there was a 'Jewish problem' in Europe. In my most recent book I read that the Vichy government, in unoccupied territory, volunteered to sniff out jews (not the french ones but the 'foreign' ones - if that makes it any better) to be sent East where, it was known, they would be exterminated. There was a widespread belief that the Jews (who in many cases had not been allowed to own land and therefore had only the option of being 'businessmen') were extorting money out of 'hard-working' people by various methods (either buying goods too cheaply or selling them too dearly) and therefore the complaint against them was , on the face of it, economic. However, the fact that France, and Poland were largely Catholic (what excuse does 'Lutheran' Germany have?) may have given fuel to these people's hatred. Back in the 15 Century a pope declared that R.C's must have nothingn to do with jews. Way before that, in the days of King John, Jews were expelled from Britain. We know from stories such as that of Anne Frank that children in those times often despised jewish schoolmates as 'Christ killers'. It seems to escape the attention of such people that Christ was a Jew.....
So, can you believe that there are people, who, many years after perpetrating dreadful acts against jewish men, women and children, STILL believe they did the right thing?
I'm not 'enjoying' this book - might well read a PG Wodehouse next - and therefore it is my intention to read it as quickly as I possibly can do so that I minimise the effect it has on me. I shall then pass it on to the Salvation Army shop in the hope that someone else might seek to understand how, one small step leading to another, factories for killing human beings can be set up and people destroyed for no other reason than their faith being unacceptable to the majority. To be forwarned is to be forearmed, so my father always used to tell me.