Have been enjoying having everyone home. Many have been ill (flu or colds) so I don't think we have had everyone sitting at the table eating heartily at once (yet). I think about everyone has had though (except Lucy and Timothy) so we on the right side of it. Becky arrived on the 26th and it is lovely to have her around again. The boot socks which were to be for Ron's Christmas present last year (and which I abandoned in confusion at the turning of the heel) are now finished. Thanks entirely to Becky who was (as usual when she comes here) knitting socks herself. She gave me a few hints and helpfully drew up some instructions for me to work on - what with those and the part-finished socks she'd left here and which I could scrutinised - I was able to progress with them. They are now (one year and a week late) ready for wear. I might take a photo of them - they are quite spectacular!!!
Dad and Olive came for short visit on Thursday and the next thing on the program is the 'works outing' tonight - to an Italian restaurant.

Not wanting to be identified, when asked by strangers, as an 'evangelical', but rather as a 'Christian', I'm often having to ferret around in my head for convincing reasons to separate myself from the worst of what is automatically associated with the term 'evangelical'. Packer gave me some useful pointers. In our prayer we must focus firstly on GOD (as in the 'model' prayer ' Our Father.....'). We need to be able to separate out praise of God FOR HIMSELF and praise of God for what He does for 'us' (including 'mankind' in a general sense). If we can't do this we are so man-centred as to become indistinguishable from humanists. Evangelicals then, are, 'functional humanists' - that's why I dont' want to wear that label. Doubtless someone will try and shoot me down - but I have other arguments.
'Evangelistic' Carol services nauseate me. Can't we FOR ONCE (we don't do it the rest of the year) just Praise God without ulterior motive? Shame about 'pet services' 'homosexual alliances' and women vicars, but at least in the essence of the Anglican church there is a concept of worshipping God for who He is, BECASUSE He is. Maybe 'evangelical' Anglican churches are actually taking a step in the wrong direction if their focus become 'the unsaved' rather than the Almighty Creator of the universe, worthy of all praise from great and small from the foundation of the world......
Glad I am to know that the unfolding plan here on earth is God preparing His bride to be fit for the great feast which will be the beginning of perfect worship for the endless 'ages' of eternity - which makes me breathless with excitement to contemplate being a part of.

Here we all are . This was taken at the Rora House homeschool camp back in July - the last time we were all together before we variously went on beach missions and Timothy flew to the USA.
Today's main task is to get the Christmas cards (featuring the picture below) in the post.

Providence. Strange thing, providence. We've to thankful for the remarkably good things - as well as for the aggravating things.
Last year, when we were at Lyme Regis, there was a blue beaker - part of the stacking set sold by ELC. We asked a nearby family if it were theres and they said not. We added it to our buckets and spades sack and when we got home I found that it is the exact one which we had lost. Now we had never taken our ELC stacking beakers to the seaside (not even last year) and that the lost one shoudl be exactly replaces in this astonishing way was a pointer to the fact that our Heavenly Father concerns himself with all kinds of details and sometimes he SHOWS us that He has us in mind. Thas was fresh in my mind when, yesterday, I drove three times through the Wheelhouse carpark without finding a space. Never mind, we could go AFTER the homeschoolers christmas concert. Joy oh joy, there was a space. The blue-badge meant I didnt' have to pay for parking. I left Thomas and some of the little ones in the van and when I got back to the van I found that I was in reciept of a parking ticket because my van wheels couldn't fit inside the parking spaces painted there. This, too, is part of the providence of God.

We were to have good friends to visit this afternoon - the stipulation was that if there was any sickness in the house they wouldn't come - having many young children they are not keen on spending Christmas nursing (and clearing up after) the sick. Yesterday Victoria was taken with an upset stomach - and she isnt' over it yet. I, too, have been got by the same thing , so our visitors are cancelled. Mysterious, aggravating, dissapointing or a cause for thankfulness to our all-wise FAther?

Last night I finished Packer on Prayer. I think if I were to have only two books (apart from the Bible) they may be this book and Sproul on Holiness. Now all I need to do is start all over again and try and assimilate the stuff about prayer again...

Exciting discovery....
I've recently discovered Audible. The bait was a free unabridged reading of Persuasion in MP3 for downloading. then I paid £7.99 and downloaded Canterbury tales (in preparation for our tackling that book as we work through Omnibus 2 which we are due to begin after Christmas) and 'Our Mutual Friend' - 36 hours of reading, what a delight. I LOVE the way Dickens crafts sentences. There are passages which one would about fall asleep if one had to READ them which can be listened to effortlessly. Those bits which are excellent (interview between Lizzy and Mr Headstone, visit of Weg to Mr Venus etc etc) are a delight to listen to again and again. I have to admit that I enjoy long sentences and am naughtily encouraged to extend my sentences when I've listened to Dickens. The TV production, long though it was, has left out many delightful passages and 'thoughts' along with other clues which go to make the story a bit clearer. I still dont' really understand how Noddy Boffin could be 'pretending' in his miserly phase nor how Bella Wilfur could marry the secretary and be validly married when he was using an assumed name to test her before revealing that he was really John Harman. Victoria had me up at 4am this mng and it was delightful to be able to get back to the book. Meanwhile (since I have to play it on my laptop) I end up reviewing some of the highlights of the year as the slideshow presents itself untiringly.

Rhodesia, frost and priviledges...
This morning I left the house at 7.20am. I thought of switching on the car radio but instead revelled in the quiet. Worries of various sorts (you wouldnt' believe the things which occur to me to worry about: a little chat with the Lord before I left this morning reminded me not only of my puniness and inability to even affect how my body works, but also that He loves me so much than NOTHING will happen pertaining to me which is not for my highest good). By the time I was passing through Woking my mind was all settled on that matter.
Having driven past the road into which I was to turn to deliver the items from Leicester I phoned the man who was expecting them and got back on track. The man kindly invited me in for a cup of coffee. The first thing I was shown was a letter 'from the queen' congratulating the former owner of the mirror on attaining the age of 109. Today would have been her 110 th birthday, if she hadn't been called home 8 weeks ago. Conversation with this elderly couple revealed that they had had a happy life in Rhodesia for 34 years before Mugabe siezed the reins. They arrived in the UK with only £512 - all they were allowed to bring with them.

Wishing to work hard (not being of the generation which has no conscience about living at tax-payers expense if it could, by any means, be avoided), they were able to rent a flat, then another. The second was sold and they resorted to applying for a council house - it was a humiliating experience. So they they are in a (delightfully situated) little council bungalow with little money. The mirror, which was the main item being delivered, had been in the family for a long time. I love the idea of looking into a mirror which ones ancestors have gazed into - so did the man. Not having a car, there was no possibility of him safely conveying this mirror or the pictures which had belonged to his mother, to his home. The man told me of his experiences as a lad being 'dragged along' to the brethren chapel which Lucy first attended when she was in Leicester. It seems he is no friend of the truth - perhaps he was put off it by his experiences. He certainly has HEARD the truth and I pray that the Lord might awaken the memory and over-rule all those off-putting experiences he had with the imperfections of his long-ago fellow-worshippers.
What a priviledge it is to see the early-morning sunrise on a frosty morning in November, lighting up white, twinkly fields and trees, to be able to sit in a comfortable car as the views change ahead and around one, to be able to enrich someone elses life by bringing them something of such great value to them, to know that the Lord's hand is in it - today was the deceased's birthday (1897-2007!!!!). To be able to assure those frustrated by injustice that the Just Judge of all the earth has everything in hand and that He will work out His purposes to bring Glory to His Name are great things to rejoice about.
On the way home I was able to get some shopping for a dear elderly friend who was out of milk and needed some paracetemol. The poinsettia was to cheer her with the memory that Christmas is, once again, approaching. What a joy it is to be able to bless such a precious child of God with JUST what she needed!
Back at home I have a load of onions to peel, two large pans of mince to do for the freezer, chips to make, roses to plant, a cupboard to sort. All these things too are part of the plan for extending the kingdom - wonderful isn't it?!!

It was a nice little house - needed a lick of paint and new carpet, of course, it would have been fine. Someone could have lived in there - in fact, someone HAD been living in there - she died somewhere else. The reletives wanted to relase the capital (maybe they owed most of it to the UK govt, who knows?) so they sold it.
The new owners had BIG plans. It was going to become transformed into a BIG house. New walls to be built, here and here. Old walls to be knocked down, windows, doors bathroom, all to be replaced. You SHOULD have seen the mess. Skip-load after skip-load of old carpet, roofing felt, fitted cupboards, smashed up walls, broken tiles, doors, you name it. And the INSIDE - well, it just seemed to get worse and worse (well, the bathroom was completed and was a tremendous encouragement as a 'taste of things to come'). That encouraged 'the man'. Wires hanging everywhere, rotten floorboards uncovered. It was cold - damp too (you should have seen the rain dripping through when the roof had been taken off where the extension was to be built....). No one would EVER want to live in it now, no way. Not for ANY money. Even 'the man' was finding it challenging to get his dinner sorted out. Thing is, though, that it's not FINISHED yet. The man is still there. The tiles for the roof are next to the skip in the front garden - there's promise. All the windows are in now and there's one more room ALMOST finished (that's where 'the man' sleeps). He can now put a sheet of insulation against the doorway and, with the help of the small heater, keep from freezing overnight.
During the day he doens't have time to freeze, he's SO busy cutting, plastering, mixing, measuring - by the end of the day he's so tired that sometimes he falls asleep at his desk (that's where the only CHAIR in the house is). But 'the man' keeps on, he knows what he's got to do today, and next week and he keeps on beavering away at the job.
He has in mind what it's going to look like when it's finished. Pointing to the half-demolished wall he says "there'll be an arch just here......". He's got a light in his eyes, this gives me hope. He can actually SEE it. I can't. That's my problem. I don't. I never have been able to imagine what such a big project will look like when it is finished and envisage all the little steps on the way to it. It's a man thing.
Yesterday I realised (while I was praying) that it is a God thing..... My life is so far from what it ought to be - so much a 'work in progress'. I can't imagine (any more than that house could) what I might be like when I'm finished - oh yes, there are 'bathroom' bits - and new windows and doors - that helps. But really, I can't imagine what it'll all be like when it's finished. Or even how LONG it will take. I'm so thankful that God has a plan and that He has enabled me to trust Him to bring it all to pass.

I'm going to stop worrying about Philip and his 'magnum opus' from now on, reminding myself instead of the PROGRESS which is being made. It's wrong to evaluate a work part-way through, we should pray for vision - and if we can't have even a drop of that - just to TRUST God anyway.

Pleased or what?
With possibly the youngest qualified electrician, and (newly) accountant (buy the financial times on the 10th of September and you will see Timothy's name in print) I consider myself blessed. After all, homeschooling DID work ; - )
This week the blessings consider to be heaped on me. David completed his 3-week blacksmithing course (there is an alternative version of the course which is spread over 9 months!) on Friday. At the start he was well behind - a real novice, it seemed, compared with all the other men on the course. Some of them were re-taking the course having failed. With a bit of winkling (he has Timothy's modesty) I find that not only was he the youngest on the course - and the least experienced at the start - but he was in the half of the class which passed. Not only that but, although faults are permitted ( a bit like with your driving test) David had NONE - he had been preparing a set of metal things which had to be on a board - to be inspected as part of the exam - as well as some of them having to be made again for the exam in a set time. There were no faults on the exam pieces either. he was told that one of the things he made under the pressure of time was better than the one he had perfected for his display board already.
I'm thankful that David doesnt' have to fritter away 9 months of his life slowly working through what he just did in 3 weeks - though it was jolly hard work. I'm also thankful for the lovely family which the Lord provided for David to stay with in Hereford. Once he has found a training farrier (I still favour the one in Wellington - 3 miles from the farm) he will return to Hereford for some weeks per year over the coming 4 years, for the classroom part of the apprenticeship.
Things I've been finding out this week are: you can spend many days tidying up and the house can still not look like a show-house AND some of the exciting ways I can help Victoria to develop language , understanding and memory. But this isn't the place to report on Victoria....

the demise of pride.
Whilst 'spring cleaning' my room I have listened to an audio cassette of Scott's diary. Having recently viewed the DVD 'Blizzard' (a bizzarre attempt to recreate the conditions of the 1911 'race to the pole' between Scott and Amundsen) there are a whole raft of issues which it has raised. One of them is this matter of pride - self respect if you like. There were men on the recent documentary who were just plain whingers - unlike on the scott expedition. Even those on the 1911 trip who were not professed Christians had a good deal more backbone than any of the 21st century adventurers. Oates - of 'I'm going out and I may be some time' fame - was reported as having said, towards the end, 'my regiment will be proud of me'.

This morning's story (by J Reid Howatt - maybe one day I'll get round to putting together a collection of these stories and trying to get them republished - is encouraging Christian children to not dishonour the name of Christ in the way they live their lives. It mentions how a soldier would be very careful about what he was doing if he was in his uniform - for fear of bringing dishonour on his regiment. I wonder whether this is a feature of modern soldiery?

I daresay Daniel was proud to be brought before the king on charges of praying to the Almighty. He'd been doing it faithfully for years - at the same time as 'keeping his nose clean' regarding the law of the land. What a point to be proud at - just before you are fed to the lions. It must have seemed (at the start of the journey to the lions den) that it was all futile - now his ability to do good was going to be cut short. How the wisdom of man is shown to be foolishness and the power of God was manifested by having the head man of the most powerful empire in history (to that point) acknowledge the might of the Almighty creator.

Richard Dawkins is a long-standing fool - maybe he will have the priveldge of encountering a 'Daniel' - before it is too late for him to repent.

(my) Richard put on 'Lord of the Rings ' last night (I don't much care for the DVDs) and I saw, briefly a small army of goodies backed up by a semi-visible army who were effectively wiping out the baddies. We might seem puny, it might look like our efforts are ineffective in fighting the increasing wickedness (whether it is liberalism, islam, secular humanism or just plain old apathy) but we have to know that we ARE on the winning side and that the Lord can (and will) use our faithfulness in prayer and life to manifest His power.

Meanwhile - at my particular 'grindstone', I am Praisng the Lord for successes on the part of Timothy (now a qualified accountant having passed his final 3 exams), David (having passed his biology IGCSe with an A and also making tremendous progress in his blacksmithing course in Hereford - exam on Friday) and Lucy (confidently catching babies and learning/applying stuff related to midwifery - course finishes Feb. 2008). Philip is making friends with the new neighbours and working hard on sorting out the house he and Timothy have bought. I'm all excited about the schoolwork which lies before us until Easter. I fell more organised than ever and have almost finished the planning stage. All that and the Spring cleaning!!!

May all His faithful ones delight to fulfill their joyous duty of 'good works which God has prepared in advance that we should do' - as per Ephesians.

Accountants
Last night we had a family visit. the man is an accountant. We spoke of accountants and Argos catalogues - he didn't admit to ever having added up one of everything in the Argos catalogue.. He did say, however, that when he sits in church he sometimes find himself inadvertently adding up the total of the hymn numbers! I told this to Samuel, we laughed together (he's the one who wants to be an architect) - then he told me that he finds out which digit is most frequently occurring!!! . Must ask my other children what they do with hymn numbers. Me, I just look them UP to sing them! Who could have believed humans could think of different things to do with hymn numbers. Praise God for churches where there are still such things as hymn numbers.....
Praise God for accountants too - they enjoy doing things which make many of us go hot and cold.

Yesterday, after ANOTHER discipline issue was dealt with, I suddenly felt that I had been doing this job long enough - I was ready for retirement. However, there's no prospect. The joys as well as the trials of raising children help keep one ALIVE at any rate. It would be nice to EVER enjoy the luxury of re-reading a book but to try and keep up with those I think important enough to read at all is struggle enough.
Currently I am benefitting from George Borrow on 'the Bible in Spain' . He was an amazing man. Unmarried he was sent by the British and Foreign Bible Society to arrange for hte printing of Bibles in Spain. Politics and a war-torn land worked against him but once he had had them printed he determined to travel about with a view to distributing copies of it. He knew that it was very possible that he might end up like Stephen but faced that prospect with true Christian manly fortitude.
Tomorrow we leave for the long-anticipated homeschoolers camp. It is raining (again) though we have just had a 3-day reminder of summer. Trying to make sure the house is tidy and orderly before we leave (because there is nothing worse than coming home to a messy house) has been the over-riding challenge of the past week. The end is in sight.
Yesterday (amongst other things) I sewed replacement beds (hammock-like) for the lorry, went shopping, made double batches of choc-chip cookies and ginger biscuits, 2 loaves of bread and two batches of rolls, got out 2 book orders, finally re-discoverd where the books with instructions for dances was, collected Timothy and Philip from the station - it was a messy sort of day but a lot was achieved. and all this is done in the light of the fact that we don't know we will have a tomorrow and we have just to enjoy today and work hard at what the Lord has in store for us, seeing to reflect Him in everything. Life is good, if tiring.

no 'profound brain things' going on at the moment. Spent a lot of time awake last night - first just 'trying to get to sleep' and then Victoria was restless. Consequently I abandoned hope of sleep at about 4.30am and, saving Ron from further disturbance, brought Victoria to the lounge.
Lucy's off up to London this afternoon and back tommorow - it has, as always, been delightful to have her around again and pleasant to see her quilt progressing. She also made a 6x batch of hazelnut flapjacks so we will be remembering her while we are away too.

for those who wish to enter into the adventure, in spirit, go to http://scotlandtaba.blogspot.com (the 'taba' stands for 'there and back again'). I don't imagine I shall get LOTS of opportunity to update while we are on the go , but I'll put info into the computer and update when I find a 'hot-spot' - or maybe I'll even use an internet cafe or library.

Last time I was here, blogging, I was just about to create a new blog to form a place where I will post news and pics of the upcoming trip to Scotland. then I got it again, my eyes played tricks on me, it seemed as though I was looking through a broken piece of glass - an experience I had had earlier in the day, while at Birdworld - just after looking at the ducks on the water. I thought, then, that it was the sun reflecting on the water which had temporarily disturbed my eyes and was thankful to be able to spend some time sitting on the floor in the 'heron theatre' not really taking much notice of what the man was saying, with my eyes closed. Later on the novel effect had passed off - though I do remember I had more than usual trauma trying to get home again (I always found myself in the wrong lane) and was thankful for Lucy (being a new driver she makes a very alert co-pilot!). In days gone by she would have asked me 'are you getting a migraine?' - she was always first to detect the symptoms - but it is a long time since I had one like this and she's out of practice. So, Thursday evening I headed off to bed before 9 and stayed there until Sunday morning. I tried not to complain - but I did groan a bit (inwardly and outwardly). Being aware that one of the main purposes of us being here is that we may suffer and serve our Great God is all well and good when one is in full possession of ones faculties and able to choose to eat, drink, read, sleep etc as normal. Trials (according to a memorable Mark Johnson sermon of AGES ago) would not be trials if we didn't FEEL them, though, so that was some comfort.
Other comforts were:
* the delicious pleasure of a cold face-cloth across the closed eyes
* a gloriously hot and deep bath - with epsom salts (at three in the morning!)
* the joy of listening to Jim Jordan for much of the time from Thursday evening until Sunday morning and learning such a lot about how God reveals Himself to us through the 10 commandments
* a bunch of delightful spring flowers picked by Simon and a lovely cheering card created by Joanna
* a caring cuddle from James
* a bunch of flowers from Timothy
* having Lucy to so capably keep things running in the house, and making sure that everyone was so well fed. (they jokingly called it the 'reign of terror'!!!)
* Lying on the trampoline in the warmth of the sun (with the cold face-cloth excluding the light) breathing in the fresh air.
* and a new delight - not sure whether it was re-discovered or just plain discovered - 'inspecting the inside of my eyelids'. It's very interesting in there - and listening to music, or to a mind-stretching and soul-stretching lecture, while doing the inspection is most revealing - it was kind of like when you play an audio track on the computer and the screen offers you a moving image to keep your eyes occupied, should you need it(a visualisation). In case anyone should suspect me of being a latent door turning on it hinges, therefore content to lie for hours with my eyes closed behaving like one, I'm NOT. It could have driven me NUTS but the Lord taught me things I never could have learned otherwise.

However, I was rejoicing when, on Monday morning, the headache, nausea, inablility to maintain my eyeballs in the open position because of the offensiveness of light etc etc was history. Until next time.....

Having finished 'a Table in the Mist' I have concluded a few things:
1. I'm not quite finished with Ecclesiates and I'm going to read the book again - next...
2. contrary to popular (Evangelical) opinion, I don't agree that Ecclesiates is the collected ravings of a (temporarily) deranged king who was too rich (in money and women) for his own good.
3. Meyers' translation of the word we read as 'vanity', as 'vapour' or 'mist', is much more consistent with the way the Jews have worked it out in real life.
4. In other words, the Jews (unlike too many Evangelicals) were never, nor still are, 'grinning and bearing it' and waiting for the end of life. They know how to enjoy the good things in life and (more significantly, perhaps) they know WHY!!
5. against the context of 4., when we are REALLY wise we will appreciate the everlasting value of opportunities we have, here in this vaporous life, to suffer and to serve, for Christ. These things are particularly 'of time' : neither choosing to serve, selflessly, or (evidently) suffer in any way, will be part of our priviledge beyond the grave.
6. Meanwhile, we can still look forward to being much better at 'other things' when we DO enter into our reward.

apologies if this seems a bit 'pooh-bear'ish' (it reminded me of the plan put in place when one of rabbits-friends-and-relations (Small, by name) was lost...).

After an arduous day of delivering plants and buying lots of shopping yesterday, we're looking forward to a trip to Birdworld today. Lucy and I count as the adults and Joanna and James as the two children - Victoria is free of course and I'm only paying for Simon. We DO intend to make a (paid) educational trip in the Autumn but meanwhile we have the free ticket. We also intend to buy some eggs to put in Philip's incubator.

Oh, and that picture? It is of Lucy and Becky, being suitably philosophical, back in the New Year.

Looks like the government wishes to make life even MORE difficult for mothers by (indirectly) limiting the accessibilty to independant midwives (by making impossible-to-find or intolerably-expensive insurance a pre-requisite). follow the link to sign an e-petition (for what it is worth.....) at at least know that you TRIED to maintain this freedom....

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/midwives/

One of those boxes which has been in my head for 23 years is the ‘except you become as a little child….’ one. Over the years I have dropped in bits of information or experience which help me to understand this. Reading ‘A Table in the Mist’ I think I have discovered another detail to drop into the box. We are exhorted to live today. Meaning don’t ‘live in the past’ (like so many WW2 veterans) or ‘live in the future’ (like so many idealists). We have to enjoy the things the Lord has given us TODAY. Whatever is our lot TODAY, let us live in it knowing there is meaning (and not wasting excessive energy on trying to DETECT that meaning). Surely this is the wisdom of children.

Let us deal with our children with this insight. TODAY they need a cuddle, story, encouragement, praise, congratulations – or correction, instruction, rebuke – what we do today will make a difference in the future. May all our conversations and actions TODAY be, in the Hands of Jehovah, small but important building blocks in building His Kingdom.

Come to think of it, I remember now that after having Victoria one of the things which troubled me was that the Lord really shortened my range of time-vision. If I could think about what was going to be for dinner TODAY that was really something. After Victoria’s surgery I recall commenting to others, in response to the questions regarding my well-being, that I felt for months that I could see ‘no further than the end of my nose’. Perhaps this is a good safety measure to keep us from going ‘over the top’ – if the things we have to deal with now are going to take SO MUCH energy , it is good if, for a while, we don’t get overloaded with tomorrow’s plans. I guess there are plenty of hedonists around who take pleasure in today without a thought for tomorrow but since WE know the Lord has ‘set eternity in the heart of man’ we can live today and still make our plans ‘D.V.’ with the very real awareness that we don’t know what a day may bring forth : but we do know the One who has planned it and He is GOOD.

So, today I am going to rejoice in my opportunity to make some nightshirts for the boys at the same time realising that demands for stories to be read, or cuddles to be afforded, may prevent me from completing any – though in the earnest hope that I MIGHT!

This is just plagiarised from an email I wrote to a friend this mng - I am aware that I've not written here for a while and this is an explanation of some of the reasons why....

I feel like I am running just to stay in the same place. I have a load of warm flanelette fabric ready to make into nightshirts for each of the boys before we leave onthe 23rd of April. At the same time I have to keep on with the homeschooling, run the house etc AND I am re-doing my catalogue, doing a website, re-stocking from the US, trying to figure out how I can use Wheelocks now we have finished Latina Christiana 1. Along with all that there is the conference coming up in a couple of weeks (at which I have to present a 10 min. summary of 'secondary education and beyond' with an awareness that too many people over here are focussing on state-set exam courses....). Not to mention visitors (resident and otherwise) past, present and planned.

AND my older children (as someone warned me a long time ago) need lots of time to sit and chat through ideas at the drop of a hat. (except for Lucy who is being sadly neglected being not too readily available for conversation..) Sometimes I find myself NEEDING to do 3 things at one moment and every night I go to bed with a stack of things I didn't finish, though most of the day I am doing at least 2 things at a time! I wonder how long a day would take to get through if I only did single-tasking!!

Oh well, praise the Lord He does the impossible in and through us.
I am reading Jeffrey Meyers 'Table in the Mist' which I was given on Sunday. It's brilliant but I find I am struggling to try and 'catch' the main idea and apply in real life. Last night I read (and underlined) - 'The Lord has set the times of our lives and we must confess his sovereignty without anxiety.' - this comes to me like a whiff of smelling salts (ammonia) {YOU remember that don't you, Lucy??! - sorry again!} . I only have to keep the idea handy for the next time I have chosen (unconciously) the LONGEST queue in the supermarket, or am contemplating yet another somnamulant red traffic light! I've just taken to running from one end of the house to the other when I have to get something from there - at least that saves a bit of time and offers me the opportunity for exercise!!!
This morning while we were doing our Latin test someone spotted a rat outside so off went Thomas to get his gun. He was quickly joined by Samuel (with his) then Richard and Simon served as beaters. Following a great deal of flurried activity and several futile shots the rat population was in no way diminished though I think their collective blood-pressure may have become elevated.

Along with that we have a 5-year-old who feels neglected to the extent that yesterday he gathered up 4 envelopes
. wrote his name on each
. ran to the front of the house to post them
. returned to the back and through the house to collect them
. dashed to the table excitedly declaring 'there's letters and they're all for ME'
and finally sat in his place 'oohing' and 'aahing' about their contents!!
Today I wrote him a letter, then someone else did, followed by David who printed off a letter on the computer by way of invitation out to David's 'birthday dinner'. After that, telephone conversations were had by way of accepting the invitation. So many things going on which are, to the individuals involved, so VITAL to their developing personhood...... And all that is saying nothing of the laughter-breaks which we have to indulge in when Victoria spins herself round at high-speed in her suspended bouncer-thingy!

Nearly dinner time (thanks Richard and Samuel !) so had better clear my stuff off the table so James can set it...

the longer I go on homeschooling and the longer I talk to new and existing homeschoolers, the worrieder I get.
The default approach is (rightly) we must teach our children to be literate and numerate. However, there are plenty of parents who seem to think that this is ALL we need to do. If we wish our children to be a 'force to be reckoned with' in the future and know that they will be SHAPING the church and community (rather than being squeezed inadvertently into existing moulds) we have to teach them to be masters of their language. Their peers come out not being able to look an adult in the eye or express a complete thought without using words such as 'like' and 'you know' and 'kinda' useslessly and abundantly. If our children can speak in correct sentences and control their use of superfluous and meaningless words, then they are better off, I agree. However, that doesn't make them masters of their language and able to detect the lack of reasoning which they will be confronted with in church and society and defend them from being led by the nose. Teach them grammar (the nuts and bolts of the language), logic (so they can KNOW why they don't agree with something ) and rhetoric (so they can express themselves interestingly and intelligently. I have this lurking fear that the Christian homeschool community is set to produce a generation of 'peasants' - Christian peasants are probably better for society than non-Christian peasants - but peasants are not very effective at changing the world.
Who's going to tell these parents who, in turn are products of an inferior secular-humanist education themselves? Maybe we are JUSTLY heading towards 'control' by the state over home-educators?

This morning I have used the big pump for the penultimate time. I hate change, it unsettles me. Meanwhile I was listening to James Jordan (on Exodus) where he stated that when the people of God went into Egypt they were known as hebrews and were governed by a sort of royalty. When they came out the royalty were muddled in with the rest and they were ruled by elders - also, at the start of new phases God wanted to be known by a new name.
But (the shorter catechism is in the forefront of my mind since I am drilling my little ones on the first 20 questions) God is 'infinite, eternal, UNCHANGEABLE...', isn't He? . So, I stood there, thinking to myself, does God LIKE change? Well, He MAKES changes, so He must like it. Moving on to new phases (and you CAN'T go back to the old one, however much you have a 'soft spot' for it) is part of developing and growing.
So, does God change (I asked my 16-y-old-intellectually-on-the-ball-son)? He gave the right answer of course! Back to that old picture of the multi-faceted crystal which reveals something different on each face, God is infinite and the different covenants by means of which He communicated with His people throughout history are just opportunities for Him to show us a bit more of His infinity. Wow, and here we are, a bunch of 'nobodies' and He wants us to KNOW Him!!!
So for me and Victoria we take one step nearer to weaning today, I get more time and less washing up and she gets more variety of food (and drink). I shall ever be thankful for the provision of the efficient old pump (thanks, thanks, thanks, Julie and Praises to God), electricity and the wonder of milk production for 19 months. The pump has been a comfort, like an old friend, when Victoria hasn't been able to feed, knowing that the supply could be kept up even when she wasn't able or willing to 'demand'. I'm thankful too for freezers to keep the surplus ready for use. For all the hours I have sat beside the pump listening to excellent and nourishing lectures and sermons and all the entertaining, encouraging and instructive books I have ploughed through over the past 19 months. That's all behind me too and I continue to look to my Heavenly Father to go on nourishing my soul in some other way from now on.

Ugliness and beauty
Snails are not beautiful. Fish, most people agree, are. Especially neon rainbow fish. The problem with fish is that while swimming around in the water and doing their stuff, growing and all that, they cause the water to go all horrid and murky – so that in the end one can’t any longer appreciate the beauty of their illuminated bodies streaking through the water. The answer seemed very unlikely, though I was unable to resist the suggestion. Ten-year-old boys can be very persuasive. The result was (and remains) almost miraculous. For over 6 weeks we haven’t had to change the smelly and opaque water of the fish tank. More than that, the snails have (in the words of Simon) ‘given off’ babies. The originals remain ugly, the infants appear ‘cute’ and the water remains clear!

It made me wonder whether this is a good reason to joyfully tolerate those things in life which are less than ideal. They may serve a purpose which here is obscure, but hereafter will be revealed. Perhaps, after all, we wouldn’t be able to see outside of our tank if it were not for the ugly snails we have to rub shoulders with…..

Whys and wherefores
Reading Genesis chapter one has prompted some thought. Has it ever struck you as strange that Adam wasn’t ever asked ‘why’ by the Lord? Of course not, God already KNOWS everything, you might answer. Ah ha!, then why did God ask ‘where’? He already knew that Adam and Eve were hiding in the bushes. And why did he go on to ask ‘what’? since He already knew that (even before they had done the deed!). So why did God not ask ‘WHY’ . He could have said, demandingly ‘I’m God and I told you NOT to eat of that tree, explain yourself WHY did you eat of it?’. He didn’t. He could have said, like an indulgent and bewildered parent, ‘didn’t I tell you not to eat of that tree? Why did you do it, I’m so HURT!’ He didn’t. So why didn’t God ask Adam to explain himself? Do you think he would have done a good job if he had? Maybe part of the reason is that the sin was black and white as it was. Giving Adam a chance to ‘explain himself’ would have been to enable Adam to make an attempt at justifying himself in his own mind – and God wouldn’t have him do that. Funny how once we try and ‘explain’ ourselves, we begin to persuade ourselves that we weren’t SO bad after all. Before we try and Whys and wherefores
Reading Genesis chapter one has prompted some thought. Has it ever struck you as strange that Adam wasn’t ever asked ‘why’ by the Lord? Of course not, God already KNOWS everything, you might answer. Ah ha!, then why did God ask ‘where’? He already knew that Adam and Eve were hiding in the bushes. And why did he go on to ask ‘what’? since He already knew that (even before they had done the deed!). So why did God not ask ‘WHY’ . He could have said, demandingly ‘I’m God and I told you NOT to eat of that tree, explain yourself WHY did you eat of it?’. He didn’t. He could have said, like an indulgent and bewildered parent, ‘didn’t I tell you not to eat of that tree? Why did you do it, I’m so HURT!’ He didn’t. So why didn’t God ask Adam to explain himself? Do you think he would have done a good job if he had? Maybe part of the reason is that the sin was black and white as it was. Giving Adam a chance to ‘explain himself’ would have been to enable Adam to make an attempt at justifying himself in his own mind – and God wouldn’t have him do that. Funny how once we try and ‘explain’ ourselves, we begin to persuade ourselves that we weren’t SO bad after all. Before we try and make our children explain ‘why did you ….’let us check firstly that it was actually a SIN (too easily we call a transgression against our, often arbitrary, wishes ‘sin’) as our children get older and exercise their powers of logic, they develop the ability to discern between our irrational requirements and things which are actually in the Bible – trying to convince them otherwise does no good. Lets be black and white about sin so that our children learn to be black and white about it when they are NOT under our watchful eye. This could possibly be one of the most valuable life-skills we ever taught them. Above all let us not help them develop the ability (so easily learnt, without any help from us) to make themselves just in their own minds by making excuses for their sins.make our children explain ‘why did you ….’let us check firstly that it was actually a SIN (too easily we call a transgression against our, often arbitrary, wishes ‘sin’) as our children get older and exercise their powers of logic, they develop the ability to discern between our irrational requirements and things which are actually in the Bible – trying to convince them otherwise does no good. Lets be black and white about sin so that our children learn to be black and white about it when they are NOT under our watchful eye. This could possibly be one of the most valuable life-skills we ever taught them. Above all let us not help them develop the ability (so easily learnt, without any help from us) to make themselves just in their own minds by making excuses for their sins.
Today in church I thought we had someone asking 'why' - but Joshua didn't give Achan an opportunity to justify himself - only to 'justify' God. He was unrepentant too - as far as we read. I'll keep my eyes peeled on this subject and see if I come up with any 'scriptural warrant' for asking children to explain themselves.

Now I might not be able to present this straight, but I shall have a go. { I have been listening to Dr David Field on an MP3 of the 2007 Auburn Avenue Presbyterian Church (AAPC) conference. If your appetite is whetted, you could download it from the website like I did (only $1.99 each).}
The latest phenomenal thought which has gripped me (it's been being built up a bit at a time - I don't quite know where it is going to END yet!) is this:
we live our lives as though what we do here is a kind of test - to see, not whether we can actually gain entrance to Heaven - not if we're Calvinists - but to see where we will fit in when we get there. How about this : we've been WRONG in thinking this way. This approach leads us to the 'grin and bear it' approach to niggles and aggravations (personal or impersonal) and we just turn our eyes heavenwards and say something like 'how long o Lord' (ask me how I KNOW that?). How about, instead, everything here is a rehearsal - we know we're going to be in the performance. Daily we have various 'strengthening - exercises' (which often seem meaningless in themselves) as well as actual 'lines to learn' (the purpose of which it is easier to comprehend) and ALL of it is IMPORTANT. So (are you there Lucy?) the next time I am at a filter traffic light which has forgotten to change while all around have been through three cycles already, in a queue where the till has temporarily stalled, or the staff are about to slowly change over, or the child is unwilling to let go of the package he is clutching and which needs to be scanned before the previous customer can be finished...., I shall KNOW that it is not only a meaningful skill, but a meaningful event - something which is going to be of value HERE and HEREAFTER, the Praise of His Glorious Grace. Of couse when I am listening to lectures, reading books, singing hymns, catechising my children, worshipping God, advising distressed or struggling mothers, I shall see that they, also, have eternal significance - NOT just because they served the 'supreme' purpose of 'preaching the Gospel' (directly or just 'as a good witness') but because these things, in some way, will be remembered and become causes of eternal praise to God throughout the endless ages of eternity. WOW!
The practical and life-changing dimension of this is that I can feel much more positive (and less frustrated and victimised) when I encounter the people (and their actions) which distress and chafe my soul. Maybe (and I will have to think about this one) this is the key to 'esteeming others better than ourselves' - even when we are looking at someone who is EVIDENTLY an angry rotter (say) or a theiving liar (say). What I love about Theology is twofold - I get closer to my Divine creator and learn better to Praise and appreciate Him AND I learn to understand (or even when I don't understand with my head, I can still TRUST - which is understanding with my heart) why I'm here and why things are how they are.
Praising the Lord....

Fear not, this post is NOT about how that I am failing in my (feeble) attempts to reduce my bulk.

Last night I finished watching the best film I've seen for a LONG time. It was about a decisive moment during WW2. Being an old skeptic I had to keep on fighting back thoughts that it was mostly just a Holywood story based (loosely) on historical events (reported by whom?). Nevertheless, it was a thrill to see one character developing from a useless lieutenant hiding behind his rank and being 'mothered' by a dutiful sergeant. Up until the point where (as a consequence of the lieutenant preferring to surrender rather than let his sergeant throw a grenade at the Germans who were looking for them) the two of them, as part of a larger group of POW's, were mercilessly gunned down. Needless to say the good-old sergeant saw it all coming and told his superior to run. The only prisoner left after the encounter with the german machine-gun was the said lieutenant. (which reminds me of the stinging feeling of shame I felt when, during my 6-weeks basic training, I used the American pronunciation of this word - too many war films, I guess!). He ran off, hid and was eventually discovered by a few American soldiers who met him like he was a long-lost father. By this time, somehow, a miraculous transformation had evidently taken place (and a very human and real transformation it was portrayed as) and the lieutenant was willing, at last, to take up his rightful role, and 'play the man'. He risked his life at the (wrong) end of a rifle in the hands of a momentarily derranged US tank sergeant (in stark contrast to his comfort-loving, skin-preserving former persona). Then he went on to act decisively and NOT run away, in the face of approaching German tanks, in spite of strong encouragement from his newly-found soldiers. Instead he used the fuel at his disposal to blast those nasty Germans (seeking the American fuel-stash so that they could continue their advance, without which they were doomed) to smithereens.
All this brave stuff was a direct consequence of the faithful and obedient service (even when it seemed that someone needed to come and give the lazy, cowardly lieutenant a good slap) of an honest sergeant who loved his lieutenant. 'Greater love hath no man than this, that he should lay down his life for his friend'. If those we serve here don't become all they ought to while we are alive, we shall be content to think that our departure may be a catalyst to them becoming what they ought to have been all along. Meanwhile we must plod on, trying to do our duty.

It also occurred to me that Generals have a terrifically difficult task. They have to take calculated risks which endanger the lives of some - in the interests of saving the lives of many. Perhaps odd Christians here and there are suffering and dying whilst obeying the orders of our supreme General, it is no light matter to HIM, and the suffering and death is not in vain.

That all makes me want to go and read Tolstoy again - haven't read any Tolstoy for a long time.

I wonder what sort of academic qualifications a person needs to work for the RSPB - or, especially, to be a 'spokesman'. Obviously an O level in logic is not requisite. A comment on the BBC website states (in connection with seabirds wintering at Branscombe, and their recent contact with oil spilled from a ship) : 'While these species were "not particularly rare", their deaths would "further threaten their existence",'

Did I MISS something - does not 'death' equate to the ulitimate threat to the existence of these particular individuals? Well, i guess he has to say SOMETHING - the RSPB gets loads of money from guilt-stricken former cat-lovers in the shape of legacies - and they have to HIRE someone to speak for them. He needn't make sense all or even SOME of the time.

Visiting shops where there is sound coming out of speakers (I hardly dare call it music) always winds me up. Now, thanks to the wonderful book Timothy gave me for Christmas, I understand WHY. I had heard the word 'musak' but just found out that in 1934 the Muzak Corporation was set up . The aim? to provide music over telephone lines for distribution by loudspeakers and the destination - the company vice president, in 1977 is quoted as describing it as 'functional music as a tool of maagement in environmental situations. We furnish music in work areas, primarily in offices and factories ... sequentially programmed in such a way as to have an ever-risign stimulus curve.' It went on to selling 'atmosphere music' to factories, restaurants, banks, hotels, salons........ where music becomes the object of a a treatmeent akin to castration, called 'range of intensity limitation' which, far from stimulation, consists in a dulling process. The music to be used is calssified by genre, length and type of ensemble, and is nowadays programmed by a computer into sequences of 13.5 minutes on 8-hour tapes to suit both the locale and the time of day. Another Muzak executive says. 'We do not sell music; we sell programming' !!!!
So, take care - wear your earplugs maybe - you are under attack when you go into the workplace, on the telephone ('you are being held in a queue, please wait until one of our operators becomes available......') or any of the above-mentioned places. Maybe it is even happening in some churches?

Here's a thought which occurred to me this morning as I stopped myself from rebuking James when I saw the glee-ful look in his eye.....
I wonder what it must be like to grow up without having 'unlawful' feelings of guilt imposed on one by grown-ups. To be able to pull of a 10" length of sellotape with a view to slapping it on to a 'paper lantern' in which one takes creative pride, without having the wind knocked from our sails by the blast of a disapproving adult regarding the cost of the said sellotape. What a priviledge to be a parent in a position of encouraging the creative flair without condemning the exploration of the materials at hand or the 'unproffessional' and evidently less-than-perfect fruit of such labours - which will probably end up in the bin, forgotten, by the end of the day....
Happy children are those who know that when they TRY to do good they will be pleasing - not because their inexact produce is anything other than inexact but because it was a working-out of that aspect of the image of God, which is in all of us, the exercise of which, if practised, can bring not only to ourselves, but to others and even to our Mighty Creator, an enrichment which money can't buy.
I've been pondering 'and Jesus grew in favour with both God and man' - now why should the Creator of all things bother to consider the 'favour' of man???!! It gives me confidence that my faultering efforts, at being a 'good' mother, might not be despised but smiled upon and I KNOW that they will be accepted as perfect (wonder of wonders!) through the blood of my Beloved.

I've been the happy recipient of two (more!!) books this Christmas. One is a disconcertingly 'large-print' ex-Leicester Libraries copy of a biography on Daphne Du Maurier. The family history which fills the first chapter or two is quite fascinating. The print-size leaves me undecided about whether I should just leave the book at a distance and retain my glasses or else to remove my glasses. Anyway, I am trying not to be put off by the print-size and am enjoying pondering what childhood must have been like before the days of television and light-weight 'reading books' for children with few words and many pictures. It might be hard for this generation to turn out someone of the calibre of Daphne du Maurier (OK, she had the GENES for it, but she still needed the training) because the literary experiences of our children is so very stilted. Reading weighty books, for an 8-y-old, takes time and we modern parents book so much into the schedule this also works against them . Daphne wrote a diary as a child and told about how she played 'plague' with her younger sister. She called up to the bedroom 'bring out your dead' whereupon her sister tossed out all the teddies to a waiting Daphne who was equipped with a wheelbarrow ready to recieve the corpses which were then wheeled off to a ready-dug hole in the ground for burial!! She even played at 'beheading' after reading about the Tower of London! I remember doing similar things (though prob. not nearly so educationally valuable!!) as a child during the LONG summer holidays when both parents were out at work and we three were left more or less to our own devices. Hanging teddies out of the window on lengths of wool was one of the things which gave hours of pleasure - we 'fished' them back in again - though none of us ever had any authentic experience of real fishing, nor had read any books. We had too much TV - and that was in the days when it didn't start until after 4-ish (once the school progs and 'watch with mother' were finished....). My children don't have too much TV - they just don't have enough time to 'stand and stare' - too many chores and schoolwork perhaps? It has been pleasant over the past week to see them variously building airfix models, doing target practice with air-rifles and playing board-games in a relaxed way. Only two more days for such delights then it will be 'noses to the grindstone' with schoolwork beginning again on Monday DV. It makes me look forward to the planned trip though, I shall make an effort to leave plenty of 'space' in the schedule for exploring and inventing games. I remmeber when we got to Islay last time - it was only moments before one of the children had discovered a large cardboard box and they were all taking turns 'sledging' down an enormous sand-dune. So what if they ended up with sand in their sleeping bags?!!!
The other book I recieved (thanks Timothy) was on the history of the recording industry. BEginning with Edison and his list of 'possible uses' for his new invention, the 'phonograph' , and going on to explore how recorded music has distorted the way we listen (Beethoven, for example, intended certain of his compositions for the informal 'chamber' setting and others for grand theatres) and experience music or all types. The interesting fact that the phonograph was not initially intended as a medium for MUSIC offered food for thought. Bela Bartok went round Hungary in the 1930's making recordings in various communities, of the songs which bound these groups of people together. He found that the tools available for transcribing such music were insufficient because the quarter-tones and living approach to rhythm etc meant that to transcribe would be to kill the living music. I remember hearing a record of some women from Thrace (I think) who sang together beautifully. They sang of life and death, of work in the fields and everyday struggles (not that I understood a word of it of course!!) and it was made into a record - it was powerful stuff (and still would be if I had a record-player....). some years after buying the record, I found a CD which purported to be the same stuff. The themes were the same, the 'tunes' were the same, the singers were a professional choir (from the same country as the original peasant-women) and it was perfectly exectuted - and dead. I couldn't listen to it (in fact it is one of the few CD's that I threw in the bin). I shall continue to read this book with interest and will poss quote again from it.
Edison stood back in the days when people didn't have music delivered to their ears at the push of a button, at any time of the day or night, in any location. His suggestions for the use of this new invention began :
1 for dictating letters, avoiding the need for a stenographer
2 for making books available for the blind
3 for music (!!!)
Another of his reasons was 'to record family sayings, last words etc' - funny that all of us have the wherewithal to do that in our own homes but I never heard of anyone doing it. I have an old recording made (by my Dad) on one of those old tape players. He pushed the 'record' button unbeknown to my hard-pressed grandmother whose remonstrances were drowned out by the tuning up and playing of banjos by 3 men who had caused a great deal of inconvenience by having said they would be back in '15 minutes' for dinner - and it turned out to be a number of hours!!! So, now transferred to an audio cassette, my grandmother lives on in my memory, and thankful I am that my Dad decided on his act of mischief in those years before I was even THOUGHT of!!

Oh dear, where did those last 3 weeks go?!! Switzerland was magnificent and I have spent (hopefully not wasted....) many hours collating all the pics from the various digital cameras and added music and sound effects. Having written it to a DVD I am doing a bit of tweaking as a prelude to making it available to all contributors.
Yesterday the majority of the fmaily went on the 'church walk' - there were only 4 children and myself left behind. Lucy and I set up our sewing machines at opposing ends of the dining table and spent an enjoyable and lengthy period of time working on our respective quilts. I thought it was about time I started on David's and hope (!!) to get it finished before we start back at schoolwork (hopefully...) next week.
On New-year's eve we stayed up in the excellent company of a family from church and the American family who were staying in the cabin, as well as Becky. The neighbours had warned us earlier that there was a 'very big' firework display going to be set off at midnight. Not sure about anyone else but I spilt my champagne when it started! We were all convinced that it was the most impressive fireworks display we have ever seen (even better than the one we saw on the Cobb at Lyme Regis back in the summer) with the exception fo the Ripley fireworks display which happens each October. Having it all happen directly over one's head was a new experience for all of us and at one particular moment several of us ducked and covered out heads. Victoria was woken up by all the noise but was unperturbed by the unusual circumstances - she was even quite jolly.
should one make new-year resolutions? I have in the past done so, out of obligation to 'peer pressure' but never thought them worth the paper they were written on. However, I always remember that in 1973 I wrote in my diary that my Dad had given up smoking. He has no idea how his continued resolve in this area has permanently and posiitvely influenced me and I still 'take my hat off' to him, knowing how hard it was. On the subject of my father, another thing I shall always be indebted to him for was the tenacity he showed, and which I witnessed during the school holidays. He would, from time to time, want to learn a new piece on the banjo. Never having disciplined himself to read music, he would have a cassette with the piece on. he would play, listen, rewind, play, listen, rewind etc, slowly progressing through the piece until he could reproduce it on his banjo. I learnt through this that when practicing tricky sections it is worth doing it 10's of times trying to iron out the errors AND that in spite of appearances today, it will all run amazingly smoother tommorow.
there must be something about this truth which I can apply to the mundane, non-musical aspects of my life and learning.....