Yesterday, on my MP3 player I heard a snippet of a sermon which was like one of those pebbles in a still pond. The thought went along the lines of 'education does not reveal to us what we DO know, rather it humbles us by exposing our ignorance'. Obvious? When I read a poem (a thing I'm not very good at) or a riddle (a thing I strongly dislike) I pass on quickly, dismissing it as irrelevant, if I don't 'get it' immediately. Life's too short to be wasted on 'futile' considerations. Then again, maybe life is enriched by it, and I've not known that until now.

I went on to wonder whether, when I (or my children) read the Bible or hear a sermon (even the 'excellent' ones from men - mostly in America - who are REALLY on the Reformed 'ball') just read or listen to identify the concepts with which we already agree 'oh yes, that's certainly what MEN should be doing' - or 'yes, he's right on that point, that's EXACTLY what I think' - or 'I know people like that and if they could just listen to THIS sermon, wow, what a difference it would make to them' etc. Perhaps I listen to this American stuff with too much unquestioning gullibility because the men seem to be humble and honest - especially when they talk about their wives and families?

David and I both listened to a sermon on the way to a concert on Saturday. When it finished David expressed strong opinions of disagreement - it said some radical pro-women things we'd not heard before (along the lines of 'it's OK to be a woman'!). I was blessed by it and had heard it as an exposition of Scripture. I asked David to tell me in which particular areas the man hadn't expounded the passage honestly - he didn't say. I think it didn't accord with his pre-loaded chauvenism picked up from society generally and affirmed in the culture of the 'church'.

To anything (whether it is a poem by Donne or a novel by William Faulkner) we bring a collection of pre-conceived ideas, I guess I hadn't realised that we do that with Scripture too. I assumed that as long as my lads are reading the Bible they will find the truth - then I'm surprised at the ungodly, selfish behaviour which they can justify in themselves with great confidence (in common with a great many people throughout history who called themselves 'Bible-believing Christians). Without faithful men (whom we trust because their lives are in line with what's coming out of their mouths) maybe there is no hope for anything other than the stodgy reproduction of 'M.F.I'-esque 'Christianity' (it's all about what it LOOKS like) - then even so, if we are wise in our own eyes, even THAT is wasted on us and our souls shrivel up and are stunted in their growth.

Perhaps it is utilitarian to see other believers as opportunities to expose our ignorance (in some area of understanding God) with a view to benefitting our selves (our souls - that sounds better) like an individual who's been wandering through a waterless desert until stumbling upon what looks like it might be a stream. We could also treat people in the same superfical way we treat the Bible, or sermons and learn nothing - though with the Bible if we learn nothing it is entirely our OWN fault of course - but what else are we here for but to drink in and pass out the living TRUTH. In a rabidly materialistic world it's hard to find kindred spirits but I KNOW that the future is GOOD - so I'll go on learning, I hope, and applying all I am enabled to - and may HE who created me and redeemed me and daily loves me, get all the praise.

Another shocking thought via the 'Pastor Lusk' currently influencing me: from Timothy Keller.... ' Self image is not what we think of ourselves so much as what we think (or hope) others think of us. ' We can't be so silly as to imagine we are better than we really are - but we are positively insane if we behave as though what really mattered was trying to make OTHER people think we are 'good' when we are (to them, perfectly evidently sometimes!) NOT. Let's not look in the mirror of 'man' but instead into the mirror of God. What makes us bad isn't the bad feedback from others (perceived or expressed) so much as our unwillingness to identify and repent of our bad-ness.